UPDATED 02/18/2K9

To-do list! NOT THAT ANYONE ELSE IS READING (hi! if you are) but. XD This is by no means a complete or even that comprehensive list -- I change my mind and my whims constantly, but this is at least something I can look at to remind myself "oh hey, that needs to get done eventually."

Most (but NOT all) of these will be posted publically; if you're curious about seeing what isn't (the porn and the original Catfish-related stuff), please check out this post and ask to be added to the appropriate filter(s). :) Please also be sure to actually comment, because, uh, I don't honestly check this post that often. Just FYI. :|b

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ORIGINAL:

GHOST STORY (seattle-side story): part of one of the Catfish projects.

All posts will be open, because I really really want to share this story♥ This is currently ON-HOLD pending some discussions/note-sharings with partner-in-crime sharky_chan.

Also, the stuff for the graveyard kitten project with harukami, hahahahahahahaha. 8D I'm excited. ♥

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ASAP (i.e., challenges/obligations/hey-that's-shiny):

• imaginarybeasts March theme--Carnivale. Something for Ile Carnevale del Lupo.
  
• He...talia...fic?
  
• "Thee Olde Trip to Jerusalem." Jasdevi-centric.
  

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I WANT TO I WANT TO I WANT TO I WAAAAAANT TO:

• More wishful thinking, but I want a (longlonglong) plottastic Dresden Files/Supernatural crossover. And none of the TV show, I want the bookverse with all its twists and mythologies and Mouse in it. I-if only I could write for either of them. :(
  
• Stuff for Triple Strike! Now that the story's hit my personal favorite arc of the whole thing, I want to write sidestories and supplements as Sharky whips out the main canon. :|b
  
• MORE GENDERSWITCH. Guys, guys, you have little idea how incredibly fun I find it. :\b
  

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BACKBURNER (most of these are started, and just need to be eventually finished):

• Kingdom Hearts (2)/Silent Hill, "All Falls Silent": AHAHAHAHAHAH OSHI-
  
• Raikou/Kantarou 50 sentences, set Delta
  
• Fullmetal Alchemist, "Ratio Air to Fire": this is supposed to be Roy/Ed?!
  
• Fullmetal Alchemist, "Heavy the Crown": Sequel to "And Home Once More." Would eventually be Roy/Ed. Dear self: please write the part between the beginning and the end, which you already have both of.
  
• GetBackers, "Retrieve the Forgotten Gaze!": FINISH THIS DAMNIT. ... but first, edit the hell out of it, augh.
  
• Kingdom Hearts/2, Alex cornerverse, the SEQUEL OF DOOM: all I know is that I want to call the first part "The Gates of Horn and Ivory." HAHAHAH WHAT A SUCK.
  

So today I was talking to harukami about my current lack of productivity, and I basically said "I need to devise a guilt and/or reward system or I'm never going to get out of this rut." Which is--sadly very true! I've kind of settled into my apartment now, and there's both more and less stuff to do without a roommate around, which means that I spend a lot of my evenings curled up on the couch with the TV for ambient noise and ... rather than writing or RPing or anything productive, I have hit this consumptive cycle where I am just reading a lot. And I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, but it's not really where I want to be, either!

SO. I am going to try taking a leaf from sjen's book, as she is my senpai and it is something that would work for me! SO. It's not the beginning of the year, nor is it my birthday (which are the two times when I would normally MAKE resolutions, but waiting for it will only compound the problem), but it is the beginning of the week, so let's try this.

I will attempt to write at least 1000 words a week from here, July 6th, to July 6th 2010. On Sundays I will post a weekly status report (and leave a note to myself to actually do so), and when I say 1000 words, I don't mean RP or twittering or blog posts--but actual fiction/plotting something--in which I will provide at least an excerpt of the stuff(s) I've been working on. I should do this separate from anything I write with harukami (since we are currently working on something and that feels kind of like cheating XD).

Should I fail to do this, I will give away a $10 Amazon or LJ gift certificate to the first person who comments when I post a failure week.

The caveat to this is that I will, like Senpai did, allow myself five (5) freebie weeks, as I know for a fact that I will get very little done for one week in August (when people descend upon Seattle), the week of my birthday (when enough_space visits me ♥) and just general--life and blah and accounting for illnesses or whatever.

I am incredibly serious about this, because I really do need something to actually kick my ass and get me working again. Wish me luck. :(b

* I went to see the fireworks at Gas Works park for the first time since I came to live in Seattle. :) llamrei is awesome for suggesting it. \o/ WORTH IT, DESPITE THE TRAFFIC HILARITY. So because of that, I was out most of the day. I hope everyone who celebrates it had a happy Fourth. \o/

* Yeah, I have a twitter now too. AT LEAST I STILL HAVE RESISTED FACEBOOK AND MYSPACE. :E!! That's not really a victory, is it.

* Placeholder for something cooler goes here. I AM WORKING ON STUFF WITH harukami THAT I THINK IS KIND OF AWESOME, it will hopefully be posted here within a month. :D I also have lots of little lines and snips floating in my head, maybe they will go somewhere!

* Mnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn comfybedandcouch. |D

thefeelgoodmeme
my thread

ETA: Okay, so uh. Never mind, with all the inanity I do have other things I want to say.

And that's mostly--guys, seriously. If you have a problem with me, please come and tell me directly. You can tell me anonymously--I have critposts up for my characters at CFUD--you can email me (nekokoban at gmail) or PM me when I'm on IRC, whatever. I may be hurt and upset at first, but I will listen. I am more uncomfortable with the idea that I am making other people unhappy and uncomfortable, frankly, and I would much rather be told so I can make corrective steps rather than just ... let things fester. That never has helped anyone, as far as I know.

I'm not saying I don't have problems with people! I'm only human, and I get irritated/upset/angry about things, sometimes irrationally! But I also try to speak up and tell the person I'm having problems with. Sometimes it takes me a bit to get my courage up, because I'm a horribly non-confrontational person, but I still will say something. And I really hope people would do the same for me.

My two cents--back to fluff and blather. [/ETA]

ETA2: Dear program that is necessary for my day job! PLEASE STOP NEEDING TO BE RESET AFTER EVERY SINGLE TASK. :E It's a good thing I've already made my number goals for this month, s'all I'm saying. SOB. [/ETA2]

RADIO SILEEEEEEEEENCE

Okay it's mostly that I have been trying to transition back to a 9-5:30 schedule, because--as much as I like being done at 4:30, I don't usually get home till anywhere from like 5:45-6 anyway, and I hate waking up before 7 if I can utterly avoid it. Since my manager is understanding, our schedules are usually flexible, so I am testing out this new schedule for the week! SO FAR, two days in, it feels pretty good--though I know I will probably grow more dissatisfied as traffic levels return to post-holiday madness and also in the winter, when it gets dark at 4. :|a Plus my chiropractor appointments are at 5:30 so at least sometimes I will have to come in early so I can leave early. Earlier. Either way. I think this will help with my energy levels overall, though, which in turn will hopefully help with everything else I have been tired or blah about lately. Baby proactive steps, yay! \o/

(On the downside, yesterday I also had my first migraine in months and that was terrible. ;o; I don't get them very often, but boy do I hate everything when I do. :x)

Further on the plus side, katmaxwell is magical and amazing and got my wireless working in my apartment finally. \m/ I can bring my computer into the kitchen and look stuff up without tripping over cords now! ;^;b I still mostly spend my time in the living room with the magical noisebox, but now I have options and that is nice. This icon is mostly for her. :|b I also ended up rewatching the first two episodes of Supernatural over the weekend, which reminds me how much I really did like the show--and it isn't that I dislike it now, but the show as it is now has lost a lot of what originally drew me to it. (And I mean, I enjoy religious fiction, so the show as it is now still has a story that is very appealing to me, but it is no longer really DRR DRR THIS SHOW WAS MADE FOR ME like it was when they were hunting boogeymen and poltergeists and so forth.) As a result, I am looking for fic again. It's kind of nice. /o/

I am incredibly looking forward to Friday off. I am probably going to pick up at least some extra hours at work, but it's holiday overtime and therefore things will be kind of comfortably slow and no commute. I think I will treat myself to a tasty dinner of some sort. DOES ANYONE IN SEATTLE WANT TO GO WITH ME. Especially you people who have not seen my new apartment yet--it's not exactly all unpacked, BUT MY LIVING ROOM IS PRESENTABLE FOR HUMAN COMPANY! Yeah. \m/

Cravings for a Starbucks Lemonade Tea and braindeath from anticipating vacation aside (there is work to do, but I am so scatterbrained that I am amazed I have any semblance of coherency), life is pretty good. :|a Things are going well, and they will hopefully get better in time.

HOLY CRAP THIS WEEK HAS BEEN CRAZY. I-I don't think I've been this busy in a long time. XD

* I have been mostly following Andrew Sullivan's liveblogging and other links during the downtimes at work this week. It's really hard to actually be eloquent or even have proper words for a lot of this--I'm not even a religious person, but I hope to any god or higher power listening that this will make a positive change, and that all those people who've been injured or died in the struggle for fair representation will not be in vain.

IN LESS SERIOUS NEWS, THE WEEK.

* MONDAY: I met miss_arel and we watched Bizarre Foods on DVD. I am ridiculously addicted to this show, to the point that even when it's a rerun I've seen three or four times already, I have to watch it again when it comes on. :( I need to put the rest of the DVDs on my to-buy list, since I already own the first one, I SHOULD GET THE OTHERS! (Especially if the Wiki is right and they're changing it to "Bizarre World" instead and expanding to cultures as well--IT IS NOT THAT I WON'T WATCH IT STILL, especially if the host is the same, but I think food is a really cool insight into lots of cultures in the first place, so!) I need to start putting boxes away so I can start having more people over and show off my new place. :|a

* TUESDAY: I met with my cousin! This is the same cousin who came by last year, as a short stop on her way to a mission trip in Peru. It was really interesting, because--she's something like six or seven years older than me, and we have very few actual similar interests, but ... she's family. We talked about how it was weird, because our family (the different branches) have never been super-close or given to big gatherings or celebrations; the last time we really had multiple branches of the family in on place was ... our grandmother's funeral, ha ha ha orz. Still, there was something cool about mentioning our other cousin in Portland and not having to SAY he's my cousin--or hearing that her sisters might be visiting at some point, and just ... it was interesting! We are going to try and get together again, and I'm hoping it will be a semi-regular thing, because it is nice, having her around.

* WEDNESDAY: I did nothing! \m/

* THURSDAY: vulchu, katmaxwell, llamrei, and I went to Tutta Bella Pizza. The food was amazing, the company was a blast (exploding drink glasses and all!) and it was just nice to see people. I should keep that up, especially since I am living alone. :|a

* FRIDAY: I went to see RENT with a bunch of folks. There were a few technical issues with the music (they were playing too slow at parts and the actors were forced co compensate with the song), but it was still amazing. \o/ We were lucky enough to get a performance that actually had Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal as Mark and Roger (and music technicalities or whatever aside, it was really, really cool to see them live on stage and how well they work together), we had terrific seats, and man do I love living downtown. :D The theater was like three blocks from my apartment, so afterwards I could just walk home.

* SATURDAY: I went to the wedding nightsinger and darthparadox. \o/ It was a lovely ceremony and they were adorable. I should harass more of the people there to do stuff outside of work, because THEY ARE COOL PEOPLE, I am just kind of fail at being social a lot of times. (This week notwithstanding; this week was kind of a fluke in a major way.)

* ♥♥♥♥?!?!???? .o.

* How's my driving. o/

* TODAY: My plans consist mostly of doing my groceries, doing my laundry, and using today to decompress. TOMORROW, I GO TO THE CHIROPRACTOR. YAY.

* ETA: I think I just saw the real-life inspiration for Dug while I was walking back from the farmer's market. Owner said his name was Samson, but kept calling him "Pumpkin" instead. I got a phone picture. \o/

TWICE IN ONE DAY! What is this madness!

Actually, part of this is because I was considering doing the honesty meme that's floating around LJ again--it always worries me, because I am a person naturally inclined to worry about what other people think--but I do like the honesty. And sometimes people can only do that when they're being anonymous, which ... isn't something I agree with, but it's something I've felt before, so it's hardly something I can censure. This led to me thinking--because a lot of times, these memes tend to go three ways: a) no response at all, b) lots of love and affection, and c) critique. The last time I commented to these sorts of memes (both the general one and the RP one) I heard things that--I already knew! And things that didn't make me entirely happy, but it wasn't stuff I was unaware of. *wg*

So I have been thinking about it, and thinking about it, and while I don't know if I've reached any sort of truly satisfactory conclusion, I've made a few. We'll see how they go!

Which is to say: this is a defriending amnesty post.

1. I don't write as much as I used to, and this does make me sad, but it's also just sort of a function of my life. I still want to, and I still intend to, but I ... also feel bad that 90% of you guys originally friended me for fic, and I'm not putting out. :x It's gotten to a point where I will feel guilty sometimes doing the rambling life posts or the talky posts--and I love it when people reply to me! But it's also become this kneejerk where I feel like I have to apologize for posts that aren't fic! And the person who told me, last honesty meme, that I used to be so prolific (which I still disagree with, I have never felt that way, sob) and now I direct all my creative energy to RP. Which is--fair to some degree, but also ... not? I think. It is my free time and my creative energy to utilize as I wish, and sometimes that is fic, and sometimes that is RP!

2. More often than not, these days, I just want to ... ramble, like I used to do, back when I was just posting fic to my website and had the blog just for the sake of being a blog. Way back before I was really on LJ fulltime--it wasn't like I had a separate fic journal (I tried all those trendy things and they never really amounted to much *wg*), I just ... fic went one place, and only that place, and my journal was for me to talk to and at people. I kind of miss that!

2a. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop posting fic to this LJ! When I have it, I'll post it here. But I don't want this to be primarily fic, which is the impression I've always had of it, myself. CLEARLY THAT IS NOT THE CASE, SO I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE IT FINALLY!

I don't want people to feel obligated to keep this journal friended--especially since a lot of times, I am just flaffing on about a whole lot of nothing. That does mean you people on the filters, too, which I am woefully behind with maintaining. You are welcome to defriend me, and I will not hate you or feel unhappy or anything. I promise! I'll still probably keep locking adult stuff, if/when I write and post it (enough_space has nearly gotten me to agree to doing DW's kink bingo thing, sob what am I getting into!), but it happens so infrequently it feels unfair to maintain the expectation when it's probably not forthcoming for a while. :B I'll have a few other locked posts, as per life and necessity, but this journal is pretty open. My life is so ordinary, there's little to hide. Maybe I should make up some dramatic backstory for myself!

This is not a journal reboot or anything, this is just me going "... well!" and trying to be honest about it. AS ALWAYS, people are welcome to yell at me or comment or tell me anything they want; if they don't want to do it publically, I can be PMed, or emailed, and I have anon commenting on. IP logging is on, but I don't actually pay attention to that except for spambots. :|a

For the record, I will not be doing a flist cut unless you cut me first--this is not hard feelings, this is just "holy crap when did my flist get to be this long, w-well, if they're not reading me maybe it's okay if I cut them uwah."

I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING. Happy Friday, everyone. O/

Sob I am sick. :'( I was going to do some setup for a Thing I wanted to run starting this weekend, but--sick! And then I realized that I was in no shape to actually run anything except maybe the electric kettle for tea. (I have had so much tea and water and juice in the past three days that I am fairly certain that my body's water level was something more like 99% than 90% or whatever the number actually is.) It has wrecked my desire to really ... do anything except bang together a very basic dinner and watch TV when I get home from work, rather than--any of the other things I should be and would be doing. :( I PLAN ON USING THIS WEEKEND TO RECOVER, THOUGH! I suspect it's just one of my usual allergy attacks+minor sinus infection, since we had a major weather shift a week or so ago--90 to 60 in pretty much a single day!--and I was moving so there was dust and fraff and worse everywhere. +_+

In an attempt to comfort myself, I am listening to Shimoda Asami's Prism album over and over. If you recognize the signifigance of the album, you are a dork just like me. |D I think the only way it could've made me happier is if at least one of the Aku No songs had made it onto the playlist--but! I will just live in the hope that if Prism does well, maybe it will be repeated in the future. :|a SO INSTEAD, I am listening to the handful of covers I have for the original songs, and man. Man. I really do love the story those songs tell--and man, I just love fairy tales. :( Not just the happily-ever-after ones that got cleaned up, but the ugly and the weird and the twisted, and the rules that people just. Knew to follow, or disregarded at their own risk. One of my impulse buys this weekend was a book about the edits and cuts to the original Grimm stories and the fact that even as far back as the time of Wilhelm and Jakob Grimm, sex was more heavily-censored and edited than the violence and it has been fascinating. :x

And really, I think the stories I feel happiest about, recently--going back a bit, because my writing has been horribly slow lately--have been the things I wrote for Yuletide, and for Imaginary Beasts, the fairytale stories with the tasks and witches and talking beasts and all kinds of strange things. I think my strengths do lie in the simple language and the twists that are more like how the old woman at the corner is actually a witch-queen keeping an eye on you rather than THE BUTLER DID IT! or anything. I think this is why I have problems writing a lot of--grittier stuff, I guess, unless I wrap it up in kind of funny unsuited (?!) language, and put some distance between it and myself.

As I become more settled into my self, I think--I'm not really suited for really long epics, or full-length novels, or anything like that. I think, if I ever do make it into the professional writing field, it'll be for short stories--and maybe, hopefully, new fairy tales. I would like that.




Also tomorrow is enough_space's birthday so I AM SAYING IT HERE FIRST!11111111 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! SO THERE. ♥♥♥

I was going to post a letter to my body, informing it about how yes, I realize that we're finally over our month of horrible stress and running around and now we can relax a little, but that is not an excuse to suddenly crap out and get sick--but then I got derailed.

Because somewhere in the world there is someone named Sparky Oliphant.

And that's amazing.

Today work is amazingly slow (I-I hope this is not indicative of anything!1) so HERE I AM. POSTING STUFF. Hi.

Both of these are for springkink, though I didn't post the second one to the comm. I have this thing about causing clutter when it's just a drabble, I guess. Um. ._.a My writing muscles feel all cramped and stiff from disuse, but I am hoping that the prompts I have picked up will help. The one for tomorrow is already going pretty well, though it is admittedly an OTP of mine, which makes it easier. *g*

without touch
Prompt: Monochrome Factor, Shirogane/Akira: flirting - Don't look at me like that.
361 words

homecoming
Prompt: Okami, Amaterasu: followers- a little bird told me
100 words

( It feels also a little gratuitous to cut a drabble, but I'll do it anyway )

... man.

RIP, Mr. Eddings. You were not the best writer in the world, nor the most influential or the most clever, but your books were a staple of my childhood--some of the first I remember reading, very possibly the first fantasy series (it was either the Elenium series or The Lord of the Rings) I ever read. Your books were easy and fun, sort of like the comfort food of fantasy, with all the trappings of the Very Bad vs the Very Good, where the deliberately annoying introduced-for-the-chapter characters got their comeuppance and everyone except the mastermind bad guys got happy endings.

I think the first thing I'm going to buy when I get my next paycheck are your books. I have copies, but they're at my parents' house, and they're so battered and torn-up that I'd be afraid of traveling with them, or moving with them again.

Saw UP last night. I cried. I really didn't expect to, either, because--nine point nine-nine-nine times out of ten, I never cry at movies, or books, or anything. I will feel sad and go :( in my hartz, but I don't actually cry.

HA HA HA BUT THE FIRST TEN MINUTES OR SO--!

Also it makes me want a dog. So much. "I have just met you and I looooooove you" klajdlijoersdjklf

Also we are working on the not waking up two hours before before my alarm and then dozing in five- or ten-minute intervals until it actually goes off. We really are. :(

Maybe I'll actually keep up the habit of updating this journal!? Ha ha ha probably not--but springkink fic is coming up, so everyone who doesn't care will get something soon. |D;;

- So, today, our biggest client filed for Chapter 11. In theory we'll be all right, but it's still a little scary. I'm worried. :x I know there's very little that can be done, and worrying won't accomplish anything, but--yeah. Our CEO and the VP of my department remain cautiously optimistic, so I should do it too, but man. I just moved, I'm on my own, and the world is a little bit of a scary place. .o.

Relatedly there a lot of people on my floor who are out today, so it is very, very quiet. It's kind of unsettling. XD;;

- Second, I--okay. Backing up a little, my thing goes kind of like this: I don't like to get into fights, so I will very rarely speak up or get myself involved in debates or flamewars or anything. It's bad for my mental stress levels and I recognize that in myself, so I try to avoid it. However, while I don't make a spectacle--or even a very public issue--of a lot of things I think and believe, I don't try to hide them, either. It's less being ashamed of what I think and feel and more that I don't particularly care to share them very often, unless I am comfortable with the situation and the people I am talking to. Certain things, sure, I will toss out as a matter of public record, but the majority of it is stuff I only tell privately.

HOWEVER. I am also--pretty blunt, I think, when I do tell people things? I am not the most sensitive or tactful person ever, as much as I sometimes wish I could be. I try to look at things from someone else's point of view, but there are still times where I get bogged down in my own and get frustrated when I lock horns with someone equally stubborn. This has gotten me into trouble before, and there have been times where I've had to at least verbally (or textually, as the case may be) compromise on what I think and believe to keep the peace. This really doesn't actually bother me too much--I get angry at the internet, but I can also disengage and cool down.

My big problem, I think, is in having to censor myself. Less than a deliberate choice (which is 90% of the time) and--the feeling I have to tread carefully, because Here There Be Dragons. I want to be able to feel like I can express myself without fearing an explosion or a fight or similar, but as always, I will take the path of least resistance to prevent a scene, if I can.

It's just that sometimes, I wish I cared less about making a scene, and that I was a little less gunshy about speaking my mind--but I'm not prepared to deal with the fallout most of the time, and so I keep my mouth shut. Sob.

- Dear world, I request that people write me reversetrap!Hakuren and Gyokuran. It doesn't matter that she's only been in one chapter so far, I have every confidence that their interaction will be amazing. Also Hakuren as a reverse trap would just make me happy, and there is not enough genderswitch fic in the world. I would like that very much to make up for the first two points, as well as the disturbing amount of bruises and cuts I have accumulated over the course of the weekends, especially considering I--wasn't doing any of the heavy lifting for my move.

Liiiiiiiife. [fistshake]

sob sob OKAY SO

I AM MOVED! Hurrah!

THERE IS STILL STUFF I NEED TO CLEAN UP AT THE OLD PLACE! Boo!

I HAVE THE INTERNET (obviously)! Hurrah!

WIRELESS DOESN'T WORK! Boo!

I HAD CABLE! Hurrah!

WHILE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE WIRELESS SITUATION I UNPLUGGED THE CABLE BOX AND WHEN I PLUGGED IT BACK IN THE LIGHT WOULDN'T GO BACK ON AHHHHHHH

on the plus side I really do like my new apartment, I bought aluminum foil from a man in a bright fluroescent orange suit (and pink-green-orange hair and orange nails to match!) last night, and at some point today I will venture forth to buy a bottle opener so I can open the wine I bought to make slow-cooked pork.

I MAY BE IN AND OUT ALL DAY-ISH BUT HI GUYS! HI.

I have almost perfected katharon's keyboard smash!11

Sob, tonight is COUNTDOWN, and of course now I'm borrowing trouble for myself, worrying that things won't be finished in time, that I'll regret moving on my own, a thousand and one things that COULD GO WRONG! between now and tomorrow, when I will theoretically be unpacking. (I say theoretically because given my energy levels + how much sleep I don't plan on getting tonight, I could very well just be passed out. We'll have to see!) I am anxious and a little excited, and a lot AHHHHHH what is this AHHHHH about everything. Sob, I've gotten to the panic point of "do I have enough boxes? I don't have enough boxes! what am I doing, how am I going to transport myself tomorrow since I don't have a car do I have to call a taxi AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsob"

I almost wish I'd taken Monday off too, but I can't afford to do that right now. A-at least there WILL be a holiday coming up, and maybe if I'm lucky my computer will work with my new internet and I could take a couple of working-from-home days. That'd be kind of nice; I'd like to get used to my new living space. Really I'm just antsy now; everything is nearly done, and I have gotten to the point that I want it completely done. And I've hit the late-afternoon lethargy, where it is a chore to keep my eyes open and my typing coherent. :x Since the internet won't be set up in my new place until Sunday, I really plan on catching up on sleep this weekend, sob. And if I miss people I will-- go find a cafe or something with my laptop and be like GUYS GUYS LOVE ME I MISS YOU.

Nnngh, the gorgeous day actually isn't helping, because when I went out during lunch, I just wanted to curl up and nap. There is a distinct trend in my thoughts these days, which seem to follow the pattern of PACK-PANIC-SLEEPY-BAWWWW because I feel like I am missing cool stuff and while I think I will be happy once I move and have everything settled and can restart my schedule, I ... really hate the upheaval between the calm periods. My mom once accused me of only ever taking the easy way out of things--which I don't think is entirely true. I prefer easy smooth transitions and if there's going to be excitement I'd like to at least be rested for it, heh.

Still, all things aside, I think this could be entirely much worse. I'm going to allow myself to be okay with this--though I will be more okay when I've moved and everything is settled. And I'll be going into radio silence till the internet's set up at my new apartment, which will hopefully be sooner than later; I'm a little excited to actually get cable TV again. :|a (Hilariously, I think I've been updating this journal more now while I panic about offline stuff. IRONYYYYYY.)

--oh right, I need to work on springkink, too. Maybe a break will be a good thing. :|a

I'll see you guys soon. ♥

oh god I own too many books

SEND HELP

The weather has turned truly gorgeous this week--last weekend was lovely, Monday and Tuesday were atrocious but had lightning and thunder (which Seattle nearly never gets!) and then it slowly became beautiful again. Just in time for a three-day weekend, and man, I am not looking forward to the traffic on the commute home. On the plus side, since it is Friday, I feel less of the pressing "get me home now so I don't waste precious daylight" that I do--every other day of the week. Which is hilarious because of the five or six people in my office who know I'm moving, all of them have asked if I'm moving closer to the office. I'm not; I'm moving further away! But I have ascertained I want to stay in the downtown area if I can, because the neighborhood is lovely, the reviews were good, and every time I've been by (first to preview and then to walkthrough; I'll be there again tomorrow) I have just been so happy looking at it. It will be mine. :(

( RP navel-gazing )

I have also determined that--while I don't really like clothes shopping, or purchasing makeup, or shoes, or anything that I would wear, I really, really like domestic shopping. I like going to Target and IKEA and poking through furniture and stuff for the bathroom and kitchen supplies. I need new dishes when I move and I kept going :D at some of the sets I saw yesterday, while shopping. What am I becoming. Other than slowly poor, sob.

( TO-DO LIST )

... man, I don't even know myself. :|a Carry on.

Gone Home Again
Persona 4 -- true ending spoilers
985 words

( Gone Home Again )

+ I got a totally random, out-of-the-blue phone call from a coworker today, in which he was like, "I don't think you guys get to hear this enough, so thank you for all the hard work you do for getting our stuff done. I really appreciate it and I think you guys need to hear it more." And then he wished me a happy weekend.

:)

+ SO PRETTY TODAY AHHHHHH. I hope this weather holds over the weekend, where there will be the University District Street Fair (HEY SEATTLE FOLKS, WHO'S GOING!) and the Seattle Cheese Festival. I am looking forward to both. :|b

+ I sign my lease Monday. HUZZAH. \m/ I am so looking forward to that.

- Oh damnit, fandom. So I got into a debate last night about misogyny in fandom and the judgement of female characters--and it wrapped up pretty well! By the end of it, we'd come to an agreement, since there were misunderstandings and assumptions on both sides. I was cool with it! But then lol. Other people.

NEWSFLASH: A GIRL WALKING WITH A BOY THAT SHE HAS BECOME FRIENDS WITH IS NOT ASKING TO BE RAPED. THANK YOU.

For the record, this character has only been in one chapter so far. Sometimes, I despair.

- I fail at writing, in that I am failing to get anything done. While I am giving myself some allowances because of AHHHHH MOVING, I am disatisfied by this. :| I need to get over it--and on the upswing, I've been reading more fic than I have in a long time. And usually if I am reading more in general, I am writing more, so. Hopefully this is a hopeful sign!

- The day after we get an email warning us about frivolous internet usage and streaming media I see a coworker playing stuff from Newgrounds. S-sigh.

+ It is Friday. I have an hour or so before I am done. STREET FAIR AND CHEESE FESTIVAL TOMORROW \m/

+/- These pickled green beans are really tasty and I cannot stop eating them. :(

I require boxes.

Large boxes are probably for the better, but boxes in which I could stash many things, such as books, or clothes, and possibly perishables. I know there are places to purchase them, but it seems awfully silly to buy boxes unless I absolutely cannot find any.

Or at the very least, if someone could tell me a cheap place to find them because dude, $100+ for a set of boxes is something I would like to avoid, if entirely possible. :|a

Onnnnn the plus side I have a mover hired and am slated for voluntary overtime Memorial Day which will make me feel better if I give in and order a pizza tonight. Hurrah. \o/ Plus there is the Street Fair and the Seattle Cheese Festival to look forward to this weekend. THINGS MAY BE LOOKING UP.

:D