UPDATED 09/07/2K9

To-do list! NOT THAT ANYONE ELSE IS READING (hi! if you are) but. XD This is by no means a complete or even that comprehensive list -- I change my mind and my whims constantly, but this is at least something I can look at to remind myself "oh hey, that needs to get done eventually."

Most (but NOT all) of these will be posted publically; if you're curious about seeing what isn't (the porn and the original Catfish-related stuff), please check out this post and ask to be added to the appropriate filter(s). :) Please also be sure to actually comment, because, uh, I don't honestly check this post that often. Just FYI. :|b

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ORIGINAL:

Il Carnevale del Lupo
Fairytaleverse (east of the sun/west of the moon)
Catfish (GHOST STORY)

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ASAP (i.e., challenges/obligations/hey-that's-shiny):

Birthday mathoms

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I WANT TO I WANT TO I WANT TO I WAAAAAANT TO:

• More wishful thinking, but I want a (longlonglong) plottastic Dresden Files/Supernatural crossover. And none of the TV show, I want the bookverse with all its twists and mythologies and Mouse in it. I-if only I could write for either of them. :(
  
• Stuff for Triple Strike! Now that the story's hit my personal favorite arc of the whole thing, I want to write sidestories and supplements as Sharky whips out the main canon. :|b
  
• MORE GENDERSWITCH. Guys, guys, you have little idea how incredibly fun I find it. :\b
  

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BACKBURNER (most of these are started, and just need to be eventually finished):

• Kingdom Hearts (2)/Silent Hill, "All Falls Silent": AHAHAHAHAHAH OSHI-
  
• Raikou/Kantarou 50 sentences, set Delta
  
• Fullmetal Alchemist, "Ratio Air to Fire": this is supposed to be Roy/Ed?!
  
• Fullmetal Alchemist, "Heavy the Crown": Sequel to "And Home Once More." Would eventually be Roy/Ed. Dear self: please write the part between the beginning and the end, which you already have both of.
  
• GetBackers, "Retrieve the Forgotten Gaze!": FINISH THIS DAMNIT. ... but first, edit the hell out of it, augh.
  
• Kingdom Hearts/2, Alex cornerverse, the SEQUEL OF DOOM: all I know is that I want to call the first part "The Gates of Horn and Ivory." HAHAHAH WHAT A SUCK.
  

I AM TOO LAZY TO DO DO CODING FOR THE "NANO WINNER" THING. THEREFORE:

50311 / 50000 words. 101% done!

I could have done better, I know; there were some times where I was just being lazy--and there were times where I was just completely uninspired, or tired, or any number of things. But I made it, and that also counts for a SUCCESS for week twenty-one of my "write at least 1000 words a week for a year" self-challenge. NOT TOO BAD.

Stats-wise, I entirely finished fourteen different pieces this month. The most impressive part about this is that a big chunk of them were actually either completely original ficiton, or close enough to completely original to skirt that line. Some of them I will be posting under the NaNo filter I made--I'm sorry I didn't post a whole lot during this past month, BUT I FIGURE PEOPLE WOULD UNDERSTAND. :'D

AND HERE IS THE FIRST ONE! This is my piece for imaginarybeasts, whose theme for Book #18 was winter.

I wrote The Disappearence of Granny Winter and managed to submit my story early enough to get a gorgeous illustration by adadochka, kyaa kyaa. *_* I hope you'll read and enjoy it! \o/

Ahhhh, I feel pretty good. |D I'm proud of me for making it, and for finishing stuff, and for writing as much original fiction as I did. :3 CONGRATS TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO MADE IT, and congrats to everyone who tried and had fun. YAY NANO 09 \m/

Thanksgiving was really nice. :) (Thanks again to katmaxwell for putting me up for the day!) Low-key and a lot of it was spent being underfoot in the kitchen and/or laughing at the failure of the cats (I wish I could've brought Merlin, but he's sort of turned into Mister I Hate Everyone But Mom) and watching bad TV/video games. IT WAS REALLY NICE TO RELAX and take it easy for a bit, especially since I've been so incredibly braindead this entire week. In some ways, I am actually grateful that I don't have overtime tomorrow--while the extra money would have been really nice, I think I'll take it as time to recharge. All I really need to do is wait for the Comcast guy will finally come and fix the dead cable box. (I have determined that I don't mind living alone so much if I can have the background noise of people talking--music is really nice to keep the silence from getting too overwhelming, but there's a different sort of rhythm to talking vs singing, and that's what I miss the most about having a roommate, I think.)

... I also need to get back to writing, because ffffff I am behind. /o\

Also I think I need to make a resolution to stop making disparaging generalizations. I know I still do it at times, and given how much it irritates when it happens to me, I need to make an effort to do it myself and be fair. :|b If anyone sees me doing it, please feel free to yell at me a lot.

You know, occasionally I realize that sometimes I wish I was--silly enough, or pretentious enough, or teenager enough--to do some of those things that I really want to do, and then talk myself out of. :|a Mostly this involves JOURNAL POSTS THAT ARE ONLY LYRICS!! BECAUSE THEY REALLY HAVE REAL MEANINGS GUYS!! even when a lot of the time it's just because I really like a particular line or whatever. \o_O/ I suppose that's why I have twitter, but there's only so often you can do that, too, before someone decides to take a mallet to your virtual kneecaps.

[UNPOPULAR OPINION] Okay so also a part of me is kind of irritated at the condescending "oh isn't that cute" attitude I sometimes get from my friends for liking singing robots when they're going mad over Lady GaGa. Who I don't listen to, so I cannot judge, but dude, some of the stuff I've heard off nicodouga would rival any of the pro stuff I've heard, too, and I am vaguely :\ over people cooing over how crazy/bizarre/talented/etc their pop stars are, but then are like "oh, you" if mine even get mentioned. Just because the vocals sometimes come from a synthesized program doesn't mean that the whole thing was computer-generated, and gods and fishes know there are real live human covers of robot songs that are more popular in the ratings than the original. I think this is part of why I feel so apathetic to trying to listen to Lady Gaga--I understand she's actually really good, but I'd rather give my love and attention to my "silly" singing robot fandom, which I don't think is always as silly as people act. My irritation, let me punch someone in the face with it, even if it's just myself. [/UNPOPULAR OPINION]*

Though on the musical note, I need to remember to see if there's an mp3 available of the chorus cover of Butter-fly I found last night, because damn, that was a nostalgic kick and a half. DIGIMON, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A SOFT SPOT IN MY HEART FOR YOU!

I didn't get any writing done yesterday, but man, I was so incredibly dead after a ~DAY~ that really, the fact that I managed to make all the phone calls I had to in order to kickstart repairs and fixing things that need it outside of work is an incredible achievment. CFUD people, I will pick up the chorus post tonight. /o\ THOUGH RELATEDLY, after reading this (courtesy of ysadrel and is an amazing read even for someone who doesn't know WoW, like yours truly), I really want to just. Do a text-based adventure thing and see how well I can do when I'm making things up on the fly. That's actually how I do a lot of creative things, honestly; I have learned that I cannot handle outlines that well, because then I get bored and I'm like BUT I ALREADY WROTE IT! \o_O/ and want to move on. Sob. XD Part of me just wants to make a journal post that is like, YOU WAKE UP HERE, WHERE DO YOU GO FROM THERE. Like every RP ever, only I'd want to do it with those forums where people are just giving (occasionally ridiculous) input and trying to roll with that. It seems like it'd be fun, but I don't know that people would actually be interested in it. WHY CAN'T I GET THE HANG OF FORUMS! [fistshake]

\o_O/ is still my favoritest emoticon ever.

THE END.

* PS: the UNPOPULAR OPINION is not actually meant to specifically call out people. The Vocaloid vs Lady Gaga thing is obviously the current example in my life, but it's really just an example of something that keeps happening. \o_O/ It's part of why I am really starting to hate when people say "but you're so cute!" to/about me, because I honestly feel like I'm not being taken seriously, and it drives me up the wall! SO. While I don't mind being silly and off the wall, I'd like to be taken seriously (and the things I like as a reflection of "hey, I like this unironically") as well.

SUCCESS!

( DETAILS )

Thoughts: CRY SOB CRY--this week has been really bad for me, re: keeping up on things; I just tend to barely make it for the word counts. (I feel like I've said this before, but this week felt worse than others, because I actually DID miss my goal a few times and had a day where I didn't write at all and basically just had to plod and pick my way through a wordcount to catch up.) BUT I AM STILL CAUGHT UP! And that is good. And while I am working for part of the upcoming holiday (if they give me a computer that actually works, that is, sob wireless!), there should still be time to get writing done. \o/

I MIGHT MAKE IT THIS YEAR! THIS IS EXCITING.

wishs.come.true
xxxHolic [Himawari]
1180 words
"Do you believe in other worlds, Himawari-chan?"

( wishes.come.true )

SUCCESS!

( DETAILS )

Thoughts: Sooooooob this week! THIS WEEK! I did not get nearly as much done this week as I wanted; most nights, I just pretty much eked past the minimum wordcount for NaNo in the last hour or so before bedtime. ON TOP OF THAT MAYBE I AM GETTING SICK?! Which is kind of sucktastic, but it would explain why I have been kind of dead on trying to get anything done. The thing that really sucks, though, is that I still want to write, I just have been unable to focus properly to pull anything off.

On the other hand, I think I am definitely in the consumptive cycle of my creative output again; I have been reading a ton of manga (m-mostly silly BL but still! mostly reading manga) this past week, and I think it's sort of put me on a I WANT TO WRITE ORIGINAL FIC! BUT ALSO FANFIC! I am finally catching up on xxxHolic, and also I am on this embarrassingly big FukuJun kick like YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE. BUT I HAVE NO DIRECTION! vicious cycle. This is slightly troubling. :|a

But I am on track, writing-wise, so hopefully I will have more to post in the upcoming week. \o/

Today so far, I have:

- Lazed around with my cat lounging on my arm and being the cutest thing ever :'D
- Gone grocery shopping
-- Related: I got strawberry cream puffs :D
- Bought a random dude McDonald's
- Got to say hello to a very nice pitbull service dog
- HAD MY CAT SIT ON MY LAP OF HIS OWN FREE WILL FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR this is amazing for him, because he likes being around me, but he's not really a lapcat \o/
- Found hibiscus soda, which I got three kinds of (plain, with lime, and with orange)
- Splurged a bit at Kinokuniya, but I found the Pandora Hearts artbook, so it took very little mental convincing for this; I had to reflect that it was very nice to be able to splurge without guilt :x
- I STILL HAVE TRIPLE BAKA STUCK IN MY HEAD. IT NEVER GOES AWAY. EVER. (I thought maybe Pygmalion would replace it, but no.)
- Not written a SINGLE THING ha ha ha ... hahhhhhhh ...
-- Related: I do have a story half-started, though, so maybe it'll actually get somewhere and I'll make count tonight :|a

Also damn, guys, the new sensei singing robot looks like he wandered off of the pages of all the bl manga I have been binging on this week. It's like candy of the very worst sort, filled with things that you know will make you feel queasy later, but you can't stop because there is something about it that is so compelling and then SUDDENLY IT'S HOURS LATER AND YOU ARE LIKE ?! HOW MUCH DID I ACTUALLY DO . . .

And I think I owe people uploads. IF I TOLD YOU I WOULD UPLOAD STUFF FOR YOU OVER THE PAST WEEK, NOW IS THE TIME TO TELL ME, BECAUSE I HAVE TOTALLY FORGOTTEN.

and they won't call me mother, or sister, or wife
904 words
Hetalia
"They will know me or not by the strength of my life / I will burn with a light of my own / They will know me as Joan."

( and they won't call me mother, or sister, or wife )

There's a song with that line, too, and it's hideously catchy. :(

I am in that horrible place where I really want to write! but at the same time, everything I have to write is just ... not pinging me. :( I'm still excited for all of it, especially the yaoi_challenge pieces among the other things I have, but when I try to actually focus on them, my attention goes wandering and my brain decides to get lost on the road to coherency. Even really good ideas and suggestions barely seem to skim the level of my distraction; I would ask for prompts, but I'm afraid of dropping the ball because I would just putter out and be like :V instead. It feels a lot like when you have a horrible craving for one specific food, and while you can and do eat other stuff and you get full from it, it's not nearly as satisfying as getting what you actually wanted, only with the added dimension of WHAT IS IT DO I REALLY WANT, ANYWAY. Help, I have 2000 words to write tonight and NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT. ;o;

/whines

Man, I feel like I was going to make another point whenever I got around to posting again, but I've forgotten it entirely. Possibly it involved my cat.

I TOTALLY FORGOT TO MAKE THIS POST YESTERDAY. BUT YOU KNOW.

SUCCESS!

( DETAILS )

So the other night I dared enough_space to actually be awake within half an hour of me coming home from work; I promised her fic if she made it.

AND SO WAS WHAT WILL PROBABLY THE LEAST-POPULAR FIC IN 07-GHOST FANDOM WRITTEN. :'D Okay, I exaggerate a bit, but it is rather disheartening how much people don't like Ouka and Gyokuran and the others. I think they are amazing. :'( Based on a pet theory of #babydragon that Shuri is the fiance that Ouka mentions in passing when she's first introduced.

without, the thorns
3259 words
Gyokuran vets the princess' fiance. She is not terribly impressed.
SPOILERS through Kapitel 53

( without, the thorns )

So for reasons that I remain uncertain of, rather than work on anything continuous, today I decided I wanted to write Questionable Valentine Royal Family Fic.

Four drabbles, spoilers for Velvet's book as well as backstory revealed throughout the whole game. \m/

( I sort of feel like King Valentine is warning enough sometimes )

Case in point: I normally log into work as soon as I get in and my computer is booted up! TODAY, FOR SOME REASON, I DID NOT! And as a result it was something like 9:30 (a good forty minutes after I'm in at work) and I happen to rewindow in my tabs--and oh! Hey! GUESS WHAT I HAD NOT DONE. And we can't edit our time cards, a manager has to do that, and mine's in training today--so I shoot off a quick email and am like fffff, self, you're brilliant. /o\ Luckily, I guess she had a break where she could access her email, so she fixed it for me, but. Man. :( I have never made that mistake ever, and hopefully won't make it again. ;o;

In other news, I think I have figured out what it is that always bothers me so much, the first few times I try to write fic for a new fandom: I am so bad at figuring out where to set things. :( I mean, original fiction, it's cool! It's my world and my characters, I can handwave and say it happened in the year 200X and adjust things to suit my tastes. BUT IN FANFIC! Man, I think recently I have been sort of self-conscious about writing character pieces set in the middle of a scene, which is sad, because that is something I think I am good at! It is a style and a pacing and a thingy that I am good at see how eloquent I am, durhurr! But. I sort of feel like I want to expand, and do more things that have--plots? Do stuff that stands a bit more independantly alone? BUT THEN WHERE IS PLACE. Once I'm more comfortable in a fandom, it's relatively easy to handwave places, especially when the canon itself allows for openings--but even then, it takes me a bit to get adjusted.

It's weird, because in some cases it is a matter of the character voices or the style of the narrative or any number of things--but I think it ultimately boils down to "where do I put this? does it happen before X, after Y, or can I appropriately handwave it off at Z? WHAT AM I EVEN DOING." Then there's the whole "I want to write X, but I'm pretty sure it would only have the chance to happen BEFORE the series began, but we don't have enough backstory for me to really have anything to go with, just a gut feeling and niggling inspiration." I AM LOOKING AT YOU, AYANAMI/LAB.

While I'm at it, fffff I need to start working on pacing more. Dear self, stop skipping ahead and not fleshing things out; just because things are laid out in detail in your head does not mean that the people reading can fill in the gaps. :(

NaNo wordcount stands at roughly 6050, which I am satisfied with thus far. Write or Die is my glorious, glorious friend. Especially the desktop version, where my WPM is a lot more dismal than my general typing WPM, but is still cool to look at! NEXT GOAL IS TO GET IT UP TO AT LEAST 40.

Also what is with this gorgeous, gorgeous weather we've had lately. PLEASE TO BE STAYING THIS WAY, SEATTLE! You can rain at night and be beautiful in the day, I am totally fine with this.

Also also x2: I have this sudden urge for drama CDs with Fukuyama Jun in them. I have the 07-Ghost ones, but I have no BL ones and then NOTHING ELSE. This is a tragedy! If anyone has others, I hope they will have pity on me and share. :(

* Man I want to post/comment more just so I can USE THE ICONS I HAVE. Is that such a bad thing?

* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I wonder what centipedes taste like? But AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

* Sometimes I think I'd like to do the food blogging thing, only a) I don't take any sort of decent photos and I'm not really big on the PRETTY PLATING as long as something tastes good b) my way of cooking or instructing for it essentially boils down to "some of this and some of that and maybe a bit of this;" I'm not really big on concrete recipes c) I tend to be eat the same thing over and over when I really like something, which would get boring relaly fast. Hrm hrm.

* People should download this album, and THEN they should download THIS album. I pimped The Protomen on my LJ before, but while the second album was released back in ... June? July? I only heard of it and got it last week. WHICH I THINK IS A SHAME, because ffffffff. It's interesting, because I actually normally hate hard/heavy metal types of music, but I really love the songs from both of these albums. I'm not sure if I would say "if you're a Megaman fan, download these!" because I understand the games are really bright and cheerful and not intensely deep--whereas the world painted in these two albums (the second is actually a prequel to the first, even though it has the "intermission" track) is this dark dystopian future where one man has pretty much taken over the entire world and grinds humanity under his heel with the help of his ever-watchful robot army. Are there heroes left in man?

Also the first album becomes considerably darker in tone in light of Act II, because it's like. Fffff how it ends--we know it must inevitably end, to lead into Act I, but given how Act I ends, it's tremendously bleak. BUT I LOVE IT ANYWAY "The Hounds" is an amazing track that is like. The epitome of the kind of attitude that goes into the whole "woman in the refridgerator" phenomenon and it's hard to say whether he'd actually ever intended to do what he did, no matter what the album's notes say. fffffffff and it's really catchy, too.

PS ANYONE WHO DOWNLOADS SHOULD TELL ME SO I CAN FANGIRL RIDICULOUSLY AT THEM :D

* IN ANTIDOTE, this is the other song I have been listening to, when I'm not listening to the Protomen. FAIR WARNING, unless you're oftendistracted, you may be a bit offput by this song, since most people I know tend to have the most \o_O/ reaction to Miku's voice. I used to be like that too, then I listened to Love Is War too many times and now I really like Miku. Ffff. /o\ But this one is cute and bippy and I love the video, even though it reuses footage after the first half. I want an icon of Neru breaking a leek on Miku's head.

* I gave my cat chicken with his kibble tonight and he started PURRING SO LOUDLY!!1111 as soon as he realized what I was scattering in his bowl. People have commented that he has a really tiny meow and purr, especially compared to certain other cats that people in the area have, but they have never heard him when it comes to his TRUE LOOOOOVE, chicken.

* I HAVE AN HERB GARDEN; whether or not it will survive me will remain to be seen. However, I have rosemary which is my favorite herb ever, so I don't have to buy it--score. :3 Also some catgrass for Merlin, I'm really hoping they'll grow. /o\ I SEE SOME SPROUTS?! But who knows if they'll be enough that I could feed him. XD WE'LL SEE.

* My costume idea for Halloween is going to be terrible. Blame harukami, guys, IT IS ALL HER FAULT. :'D

Ugh.

For the most part, I do think I'm a good person and a decent friend. I make mistakes and I sometimes do unpleasant, unkind things, but I don't like to be deliberately so, and while I get upset and I get defensive (sometimes closed-mindedly so), I don't like bad blood and I don't like people to think of me as a bitch or a bad person. It does bother me, and more than it should--I know I shouldn't let what other people think of me bother me, just try to be my best as a person. Which I do, but ...

Guys, if you have a problem with me? If you're stewing on something I've said or done, or something in how I act, please come forward and tell me. I can't read minds, and while I try to be aware of social cues, I don't always succeed! Sometimes I fail spectacularly! But I'll never actually know unless people tell me.

Dear you, and dear you, and dear you--I'm sorry. I wish I'd been a better person to you, and for you. But at the same time, I wish that YOU had given me more of a chance, or at least said something to me before things had ended up so badly. I still wish things could have been fixed before they reached such a terrible breaking point; my regrets tend to center around those.

Man, I ate out most of this weekend and I'm half-tempted to order out for a pizza so I don't have to cook tonight. Up and at 'em, self, there's dinner to be made.

FYI: IF YOU WANT TO BE ON MY NANO FILTER GO HEREEEEEEE

imitation black
2784 worlds
Original(/Vocaloid)
Context. :( You may judge me now.

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD APOLOGIZE--this is one of the most strictly self-indulgent and utterly ridiculous things I have ever written in like. EVER, really. BUT NOW IT IS OUT OF MY SYSTEM, so I think I feel a little better. \o/?! My initial idea, okay, had been like WHAT IF ROMEO AND JULIET WERE ACTUALLY THE SAME PERSON AND BENVOLIO AND MERCUTIO ARE IN LOVE WITH HIM. HER. ROMEO. IT JUST WENT DOWNHILL FROM THERE, IDK GUYS.

( The sad story of a princess in a cage. )

Fffffff, the first week back after a vacation is always the hardest, I think. :'( Back to the regular grind schedule and also no enough_space when I come home. My cat is less affectionate than he was during that week she was here, barring the day she left, when he was super-snuggly. I'm not sure if that dependency last week was because OH MY GOSH SOMEONE ELSE IS TAKING HER ATTENTION AWAY FROM ME!! or TWO PEOPLE = TWICE THE LOVE FOR KITTY. Knowing my cat, it might be both. Since work no longer allows streaming anything, I have been watching a lot of downloaded stuff off my external hard drive (my giant batch torrent of Iron Chef Japan episodes finally finished--which means I know have 160 episodes of the original series to get through. 8D It's really fun background dialogue). DOES ANYONE IN SEATTLE WANNA DO STUFF THIS WEEKEND, I want an excuse to get out and see people. :(

Also HEAD'S UP, I am thinking of dissolving my three key LJ filters (the porn one, the Catfish one, and the ticky box one--well, I might keep the ticky box one). Mostly I'm just toying with it, because--I would rather still have my NSFW stuff locked because people at work do surf social networking sites and I'd really rather not have to deal with the folks I work with reading what I write in my free time unless somehow I write a book--they can buy it and then whatever, I'll be chill 8Db, buttttt. Part of it is the sheer laziness of not wanting to make reading filters--on top of the fact that I know if I MAKE reading filters, I am going to miss people or lose people and then I'll be like \o_O/ WHAT HAPPEN when ... things do! Hurr hurr. So I'm torn! But it's possibly coming down the line, just as a head's up. It's not like I really write a lot of stuff that's not worksafe, though when I do, I'd rather be covered than not. Hmm.

HOWEVER: I am doing NaNo this year! Maybe not officially, depending on if I remember to register properly on the site, but I'm gonna do it! While ideally I'd like to do 50K words for a single story, I am pretty certain that my attention span these days won't really go for that. I do, however, plan to have one ongoing major story and then write anything else that strikes my fancy alongside of it, and just contribute that all to my wordcount for the month. SO!

Poll #1475430 ONE LAST WORK FILTER
Open to: Friends, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 51

NaNoWriMo Filter! (not answering means you will be automatically let off)

i liek ticky

In semi-related news I am still working on the FFFFFFF WHY /o\ thing I mentioned earlier this week. I have no idea if I'm writing out the WHOLE SORDID THING or just THE END OF THE AFFAIR, because at this point I think it could go either way. \o_O/